Friday, December 31, 2010

Listening: Part I

I learned a lot about listening by listening. It took me a long time to learn to be patiently, quietly, and supportively present for someone who needed to talk. That lesson was, and for that matter still is, the most difficult when I don’t agree with the person talking. And still more difficult yet, when the person talking is in some way expressing concern about something I have or have not done. It is too easy to mistake listening for grudgingly taking turns talking. Listening can become me waiting for you to stop talking so I can start talking again. I continue to work at being a good listener.


It is the weekend. Please be good. Drive your car carefully. Ride with people who drive carefully. Treat yourself with respect. Spend time with people who treat you with respect. Treat other people with respect. Talk nice to yourself; you deserve it. I look forward to hearing from you or seeing you. Keep yourself whole physically and emotionally. Enjoy your weekend.

Friday, December 24, 2010

Wedding Anniversary--"I did, I do, I WILL."

Thirty-three years ago yesterday, Katy and I were married. It sounds so much longer than it actually feels. I can’t imagine my life without having married her. I was in love when we got married and yet I am more in love today than I ever knew I could be.

We went to a wedding last weekend of a young couple. I have been to lots and lots of weddings through the years. This was the largest one I have ever been to; there were almost 450 people there. There were three videographers. At the reception there was an extensive slide show of the bride and groom from the time they were little. There was a 20 minute video of them talking about how they met and remembering their experiences together in the year they have known each other. It was pretty impressive.

When Katy and I were married there were no video cameras, no digital cameras, and no personal computers. There were film pictures and we have an album with them in it. I put a portable cassette tape recorder on the floor while we said our vows so we have a somewhat audible recording of the ceremony.

Where has the time gone? There have been so many changes in our lives and those changes aren’t just the result of changes in the world. We have experienced a myriad of personal change on our own and together. We have grown individually and together. We are still the people we were when we were married. Well, sort of. We are each someone else too. In the midst of that change we have encouraged and supported each other.

We have faced challenges together. A couple of those challenges have been very difficult. We still laugh together and so much enjoy each other’s company. Decades before the characters in Avatar where saying, “I see you,” I was saying it to Katy. I still say it. “I see you,” means many things to me but most of all I still celebrate being in her presence. I still love the sound of her voice. We are still friends and we are still lovers. We each support the other in our individual endeavors and we enjoy doing things together. I still tell her I love her every day and work to show it.

It has been said that being 60 is the youth of old age. As of October 11, 2010 we are both officially entering the youth of our old age. I look forward to the years to come; together, I embrace them with open arms.

Thirty three years ago yesterday we stood in front of our God, our families, and our friends, and made our wedding vows. We both said “I do.” As to making wedding vows—past, present, and future—“I did, I do, and I WILL!”

It is the weekend and it is a holiday weekend. Drive your cars carefully. Ride with people who drive carefully. Treat yourself with respect. Spend time with people who treat you with respect. Treat other people with respect. Talk nice to yourself; you deserve it. I look forward to hearing from you or seeing you. Keep yourself whole physically and emotionally.

PS I still think Katy is pretty darn hot too.

P

Friday, December 17, 2010

2010 Christmas List

Years ago, when I was younger and better looking, along with teaching Marketing I was also teaching Typing. Yes, Typing. That was the 70's. Not only were there no personal computers yet we were using manual typewriters. That's the kind where you have to press the key all the way down. Here is a picture of the ones we used. If you didn't hold the shift key all the way down long enough the capital letters would be above the line; they were called flying capitals.

Since these weren't computers we had to center everything manually. Horizontally, you went to the center of the paper and then backspaced once for every two letters and spaces to get the starting point. Vertically, you went lines available, minus lines used, divided by two, to find the starting line.

That's an interesting little anecdote but what is "really important" is that for one of our centering projects I would have kids center my Christmas list. I sure thought that was funny. Most kids thought it was funny too. At least the ones that had a sense of humor thought it was funny. I don't know about the rest of them.

Even when I went to full time Marketing in the 80's I was still handing out my Christmas list to kids. I always said, "I'm doing this as a service to you to help take the worry out of your shopping."

One year a kid told me that she had seen my Christmas listed taped up at Everett Mall. Good grief, what was wrong with kids back then?...

I have embraced my new life as a real estate agent but I still want to "give out" my Christmas list so here it is. Truly, I just want the last seven things. (But I'll take the other stuff too.)


Mr. P.’s 2010 Christmas List

Junior Mints

CD’s
(Cool ones of course. And by the way my mother doesn’t like me listening to explicit lyrics so DON’T get me any!)

Moonstruck Chocolates

An iTunes gift certificate

A Lamson Velocity 3.5 Hard Alox reel

A line for the reel

Rose Hill Chocolates

****A bonefish trip guided by MPHS Alumnus Michael White to wherever he says the fishing is good****
(Get this, get this!)

Moonstruck Chocolates
(I know)

A helicopter
(Slightly used would be okay)

A pilot
(Duh, I can’t fly the helicopter.)

Rose Hill Chocolates
(Yeah, yeah, I know)

An NHL Hockey Team
(Preferably in the western United States but I won’t be picky if you get me the Habs.)

My own island in the San Juans
(with a helicopter landing pad)

Microsoft
(Yes, the whole thing. Bill and Melinda would have me and Katy over for dinner I bet.)


The Blackfoot Reservoir
(Never mind I don’t want the island anymore; I’ll just take this reservoir. I really want that bonefish trip though.)

My own private parking space
(Everywhere I go)

Good health for my family and friends
(And me too)

Peace of mind and peace of heart for my family and friends
(And me too)

No suffering for my mother

World Peace
(Yes, I’m serious)

Justice
Forgiveness

Happiness and well being for my kids
Here is wishing all of you Merry Christmas and Happy New Year. I hope you get everything on your Christmas list and I hope you find some joy in helping someone else with their Christmas list.
It is the weekend. Please be good. Drive your cars carefully. Ride with people who drive carefully. Treat yourself with respect. Spend time with people who treat you with respect. Treat other people with respect. Talk nice to yourself; you deserve it. I look forward to hearing from you or seeing you. Keep yourself whole physically and emotionally.
P








Friday, November 19, 2010

Improving the Past

Working to improve is something I think I’m pretty darn good at. I strive to improve my own life and the lives of people I know and love. In my 36 years as a teacher, many times, I literally and figuratively used light to communicate belief, support, and community. I have, and still do, try to be someone who spreads light in the world.

Even at age 60 I still try to take good care of myself. Exercising regularly, and eating healthy foods (well most of the time) add to my well being. Treating myself with respect, spending time with people who treat me with respect, and treating others with respect are fundamental to taking good care of myself. Yes, treating others with respect adds to my well being.

I work to live happily in the present and to build a positive future for myself and people in my life. As a real estate agent I am work to take good care of people through the process of buying or selling a home.

As I age I am adapting to things that I need to do to improve or at least maintain my quality of life. For example, monitoring blood pressure, watching my cholesterol, and stretching regularly,

I believe that I am unusual in terms of my willingness and ability to work at improvement in my life and the lives of others. A good deal of my time and energy is spent helping myself and others to live happily in the present and to build bright futures.

Even a cursory look at my personal use of time and energy shows that I also spend an incredible amount of time trying to improve the past. Yes, I work extremely hard to improve the past. I worry and fret. I hold on to resentments. Over and over and over I think, “If only I would have…” Or, “I should have…” An honest appraisal of myself shows that I spend time every day trying to improve the past. When I think about that it sounds kind of ridiculous to me. I fear that I am unusual in my consistent and persistent efforts at improving the past.

Once again I have had to realize that possibly one of the best things I can do to live happily in the present and to influence a positive future is to STOP trying to improve the past. After 60 years I have yet to be successful in any attempt to improve the past. Am I slow or something? It has never worked and I still keep trying.

Today, I am not going to try to improve the past.

It is the weekend. Please be good. Drive your cars carefully. Ride with people who drive carefully. Treat yourself with respect. Spend time with people who treat you with respect. Treat other people with respect. Talk nice to yourself; you deserve it. I look forward to hearing from you or seeing you. Keep yourself whole physically and emotionally. Enjoy your weekend.

Friday, November 5, 2010

Proud to be an American: Part III

This past week I voted. It doesn't matter who I voted for or how I voted on the various initiatives. I voted.

When I was 18 years old the law of the land was that you had to be 21 to vote. In 1970, when I was 20, the voting age was changed to 18. I voted in the next election and I have voted in every election since then.

I do not take this incredible freedom for granted. I cherish it.

I think more amazing than that we get to vote is that even when we have close races there is still a peaceful transition of power. Were you tired of all the political advertising? It could have been guns. It could still be guns. Even if there are recounts there are still no guns.

I know the country isn't perfect but it is nevertheless incredible. I voted; I'm proud to be an American.

It is the weekend. Please be good. Drive your cars carefully. Ride with people who drive carefully. Treat yourself with respect. Spend time with people who treat you with respect. Treat other people with respect. Talk nice to yourself; you deserve it. I look forward to hearing from you or seeing you. Keep yourself whole physically and emotionally. Enjoy your weekend.

Saturday, October 30, 2010

Pork and Beans

The FDA requires all food manufacturers to list ingredients on the label in order according to volume. The ingredient that is most predominant in the food is listed first, with the rest of the ingredients listed in descending order. For example, the Cherry Mountain Bar I am holding right now says, “sugar, partially hydrogenated palm kernel oil (what the heck is that?) peanuts, cocoa powder, whey, cherries, natural flavors, invertase, dextrose, etc. Okay I can kind of picture what palm kernel oil is but really, what the heck is invertase? The Snickers bar I am holding has chocolate, peanuts, corn syrup, sugar, etc. If I cared that much about the ingredients in each of these candy bars at least I could read the label and know roughly what was in them. I could also see how many grams of fat, sugar, and sodium there is in each bar along with how many calories.

Sometimes I enjoy some “pork and beans”. The reason I call them pork and beans is because the can says “Pork and Beans”. See, it's right there on the front of the can.




According to FDA labeling requirements the can would have mostly pork and then beans. One would think that means the can has pork in it. And of course beans too. Pork is listed first. That might even mean the can has mostly pork, with some beans. Now I like pork and beans, don’t get me wrong, it’s just that I have a concern about the labeling or the packaging or whatever. Even when I was little I remember asking my parents why the can said pork and beans but there wasn’t any pork.

The label says pork and beans but the ingredients in a can of pork and beans are prepared white beans, water, tomato puree and sugar. After that it says, “contains less than 2% of high fructose corn syrup, salt, distilled vinegar, pork, baking soda, onion powder…” Even though the darn things are called pork and beans on the front of the can there is less than 2% pork and that 2% has other stuff besides the pork.

But wait, if that’s not enough, what exactly does it mean to call something pork? The “pork” is two uniform cubes of pork fat. Come on. That’s the “pork”?




Are those two cubes cut from a big slab of pork fat? Do they cut thousands and thousands of pork fat cubes and then have a machine put two in each can? Is there an assembly line where someone plops two in every time a can rolls by? Do they melt fat, pour it into cube molds, let it solidify and then shoot them into the cans? Those two cubes of fat count as pork? Seriously? Okay, fine, they count as pork.

The thing is, is that I like pork and beans even though there isn’t any pork. The sugar and corn syrup probably aren’t good for me but eating the beans is better for me than the Cherry Mountain Bar or the Snickers bar. As a middle age person I have to be more aware of eating less fat, less cholesterol, and more fiber. Oh look, good news! Pork and beans are cholesterol free. AND they are low in fat. Plus they are high in fiber. That is such good news; I’m starting to think pork and beans might actually be health food.

I’m thinking that a can of pork and beans is kind of like life. I don’t always get what I think I’m going to get or what I’m picturing. Sometimes things just plain don’t go the way I want them to. Sometimes I’m picturing pork and I only get beans. Sometimes I feel subtly tricked by circumstances and people and sometimes I feel downright deceived. Okay, that’s life. The good news is that if I look carefully often there is more in the beans than there first appeared to be. In life, when I get past my frustrations and my disappointments there can still be joy in simple things. I probably need to take a lesson from the pork and beans and work harder on that.

It's the weekend. Please be good. Drive your car carefully. Ride with people who drive carefully. Treat yourself with respect. Spend time with people who treat you with respect. Treat other people with respect. Talk nice to yourself; you deserve it. I look forward to hearing from you or seeing you. Keep yourself whole physically and emotionally. Enjoy your weekend.

P

Friday, October 8, 2010

Goodbye 50's, Hello 60's!


Hmmm… So this is my last post on this blog as someone in my 50’s. Is that possible? Yikes, I will be 60 on Monday. Where did the time go? I just don’t know. By the time a person has lived for 60 years he should have at least a little insight about life and maybe be able to pass on a wise tidbit or two.

Part of me thinks I should post some good advice. I even know a small amount of good advice. Talk nice to yourself; you deserve it. That’s excellent advice. Manage the “phone call.” That’s also very good advice. The heart that loves is always young. So keep loving! That’s good advice too. I’m just full of good advice. Be thankful. Cherish your life. Yup, more good advice. Take out your head trash every week. Also good advice.

So what’s the best advice I can give after almost 60 years on this earth? Talk nice to yourself is way up there. Treat yourself with respect; that’s way up there too.

But you know, I think sometimes it’s just a very good idea to make homemade brownies. You know, from scratch. Now, there is good advice! But wait, if you eat the whole pan yourself, particularly in one evening, then that’s bad. If you share them, that’s good. I just made some last night. I shared with Katy.

It is the weekend. Please be good. Drive your car carefully. Ride with people who drive carefully. Treat yourself with respect. Spend time with people who treat you with respect. Treat other people with respect. Talk nice to yourself; you deserve it. I look forward to hearing from you or seeing you. Keep yourself whole physically and emotionally. Enjoy your weekend. (Make the brownies; you’ll be glad you did. It's good advice. I know because I'm almost 60.)

P