Pork and Beans

The FDA requires all food manufacturers to list ingredients on the label in order according to volume. The ingredient that is most predominant in the food is listed first, with the rest of the ingredients listed in descending order. For example, the Cherry Mountain Bar I am holding right now says, “sugar, partially hydrogenated palm kernel oil (what the heck is that?) peanuts, cocoa powder, whey, cherries, natural flavors, invertase, dextrose, etc. Okay I can kind of picture what palm kernel oil is but really, what the heck is invertase? The Snickers bar I am holding has chocolate, peanuts, corn syrup, sugar, etc. If I cared that much about the ingredients in each of these candy bars at least I could read the label and know roughly what was in them. I could also see how many grams of fat, sugar, and sodium there is in each bar along with how many calories.

Sometimes I enjoy some “pork and beans”. The reason I call them pork and beans is because the can says “Pork and Beans”. See, it's right there on the front of the can.




According to FDA labeling requirements the can would have mostly pork and then beans. One would think that means the can has pork in it. And of course beans too. Pork is listed first. That might even mean the can has mostly pork, with some beans. Now I like pork and beans, don’t get me wrong, it’s just that I have a concern about the labeling or the packaging or whatever. Even when I was little I remember asking my parents why the can said pork and beans but there wasn’t any pork.

The label says pork and beans but the ingredients in a can of pork and beans are prepared white beans, water, tomato puree and sugar. After that it says, “contains less than 2% of high fructose corn syrup, salt, distilled vinegar, pork, baking soda, onion powder…” Even though the darn things are called pork and beans on the front of the can there is less than 2% pork and that 2% has other stuff besides the pork.

But wait, if that’s not enough, what exactly does it mean to call something pork? The “pork” is two uniform cubes of pork fat. Come on. That’s the “pork”?




Are those two cubes cut from a big slab of pork fat? Do they cut thousands and thousands of pork fat cubes and then have a machine put two in each can? Is there an assembly line where someone plops two in every time a can rolls by? Do they melt fat, pour it into cube molds, let it solidify and then shoot them into the cans? Those two cubes of fat count as pork? Seriously? Okay, fine, they count as pork.

The thing is, is that I like pork and beans even though there isn’t any pork. The sugar and corn syrup probably aren’t good for me but eating the beans is better for me than the Cherry Mountain Bar or the Snickers bar. As a middle age person I have to be more aware of eating less fat, less cholesterol, and more fiber. Oh look, good news! Pork and beans are cholesterol free. AND they are low in fat. Plus they are high in fiber. That is such good news; I’m starting to think pork and beans might actually be health food.

I’m thinking that a can of pork and beans is kind of like life. I don’t always get what I think I’m going to get or what I’m picturing. Sometimes things just plain don’t go the way I want them to. Sometimes I’m picturing pork and I only get beans. Sometimes I feel subtly tricked by circumstances and people and sometimes I feel downright deceived. Okay, that’s life. The good news is that if I look carefully often there is more in the beans than there first appeared to be. In life, when I get past my frustrations and my disappointments there can still be joy in simple things. I probably need to take a lesson from the pork and beans and work harder on that.

It's the weekend. Please be good. Drive your car carefully. Ride with people who drive carefully. Treat yourself with respect. Spend time with people who treat you with respect. Treat other people with respect. Talk nice to yourself; you deserve it. I look forward to hearing from you or seeing you. Keep yourself whole physically and emotionally. Enjoy your weekend.

P

Goodbye 50's, Hello 60's!

Hmmm… So this is my last post on this blog as someone in my 50’s. Is that possible? Yikes, I will be 60 on Monday. Where did the time go? I just don’t know. By the time a person has lived for 60 years he should have at least a little insight about life and maybe be able to pass on a wise tidbit or two.

Part of me thinks I should post some good advice. I even know a small amount of good advice. Talk nice to yourself; you deserve it. That’s excellent advice. Manage the “phone call.” That’s also very good advice. The heart that loves is always young. So keep loving! That’s good advice too. I’m just full of good advice. Be thankful. Cherish your life. Yup, more good advice. Take out your head trash every week. Also good advice.

So what’s the best advice I can give after almost 60 years on this earth? Talk nice to yourself is way up there. Treat yourself with respect; that’s way up there too.

But you know, I think sometimes it’s just a very good idea to make homemade brownies. You know, from scratch. Now, there is good advice! But wait, if you eat the whole pan yourself, particularly in one evening, then that’s bad. If you share them, that’s good. I just made some last night. I shared with Katy.

It is the weekend. Please be good. Drive your car carefully. Ride with people who drive carefully. Treat yourself with respect. Spend time with people who treat you with respect. Treat other people with respect. Talk nice to yourself; you deserve it. I look forward to hearing from you or seeing you. Keep yourself whole physically and emotionally. Enjoy your weekend. (Make the brownies; you’ll be glad you did. It's good advice. I know because I'm almost 60.)

P

The Badometer: Part II

Sometimes I’m bad, like I mentioned last week. I do bad things like eat hot dogs. Sometimes I get bad readings on the badometer not because of what I do, but because of what I laugh at. I probably should know better but I just think some stuff is funny. I’m bad; what can I say?

My nephew, Steven, is currently a senior at Skyline High School. He plays goalkeeper for the soccer team. He has good grades and in the spring of 2009 he was invited to join the Honor Society. To gain admission into the Honor Society one of the things he was supposed to do was perform a certain number of hours of community service. He is a great kid but he just didn’t have the time to do the community service. I think that he really didn’t care at all about being in Honor Society, but let’s just say he didn’t have time for the community service. Yes, let’s just say that.

After he was sent the invitation letting him know that his grades qualified him for admission he was given an application packet and checklist of other items to complete like the community service. The deadline for submitting the application packet came and went. I don’t think Steven noticed or cared. Actually, I don’t think he cared one bit that the deadline passed.

Undeterred by Steven’s lack of interest in the Honor Society, the Faculty Selection Board sent him a form letter letting him know he had not been granted admission to the Honor Society because he had not applied. That alone makes me laugh. Oops, there goes the badometer. They encouraged him to reapply in the spring of 2010. I’m not sure how a person reapplies for something that he hasn’t already applied for. (Laughing again--the needle just moved a little more.)

Steven decided to respond to the faculty. He got out a Sharpie, and using his best penmanship, he wrote them a short note at the bottom of the letter the faculty had sent him. That would be the letter that let him know he could reapply for something he had never applied for. When his mom showed us the letter I asked for a copy because I thought it was so funny. Like I said, sometimes I am bad because of what I am doing. Sometimes I’m bad because of what I laugh at.


(Click on the letter to see a little larger version of it.)


It is the weekend. Please be good. Drive your car carefully. Ride with people who drive carefully. Treat yourself with respect. Spend time with people who treat you with respect. Treat other people with respect. Talk nice to yourself; you deserve it. I look forward to hearing from you or seeing you. Keep yourself whole physically and emotionally. Enjoy your weekend. (Try to laugh a little sometimes too.)

P