When I make a mistake, and that happens plenty of times, I want it of course. Forgiveness. If I apologize I want to be forgiven. Doesn’t everyone? When I don’t MEAN to hurt someone, when I don’t INTEND to be careless, then I should be judged by my intentions, not my actions. And then when I say, “I’m sorry”, I should be forgiven. Just like that.
Here at home, from the garage, we walk into our laundry room and then into the entry way. The laundry room is narrow. Katy is in the laundry room, I walk in from the garage, as I open the door it bumps her. I’ve done it before. I need to remember to open the door slowly or say something as it is opening in case she is there. I sure as heck don’t MEAN to bump her. I’ve done it 4 or 5 times since we moved here 15 months ago. I’ve gotten a lot better; still, it seems to me the second time was too many. But then I don’t MEAN to do it; I just forget to be careful. So I keep apologizing.
Now when other people hurt me or are careless I don’t want to judge them by their intentions; I judge them by their actions. Don’t we all judge ourselves by our intentions and others by their actions?
I dropped off some clients last weekend after showing them homes. Coming to a stop sign on Lake City Way there was a stalled car to my left with cars in line behind it. I wanted to make a right turn so I eased out carefully looking for oncoming cars in the center lane. It was difficult to see because I was coming up a hill, plus, the stalled car and the line behind it were blocking my view. There weren’t any vehicles coming. As I was part way on to the arterial a car pulled out of line, came around the stalled car and started to move into the curb lane. That’s the one I was turning into. I was moving very slowly so it was easy to come to a stop but it was too late; most of my car was past the stop sign. Cringing, I anticipated the impact and the sound of two vehicles colliding. The other vehicle came to a stop within inches of my car. It was two Black kids. Does it matter that it was kids? Does it matter that they were Black? Yes, actually I think it does. I held my hands up in a deferential manner. Rolling down the window I told the driver and the passenger I was sorry. They shook their heads and drove on. They didn’t yell at me or even flip me off. I guess I’m lucky it was some nice Black kids and not some crazy middle age white guy with a two by four in his trunk or a gun in his glove compartment. Think what could have happened…
Now who made the mistake here? Me, because I entered the intersection? The driver of the other car because he came around a stalled vehicle maybe a bit too quickly? I believe the insurance companies would have found me at fault and I would understand that. My heartbeat was seriously accelerated and I’m sure my blood pressure was too. I was lucky.
What if the tables had been turned? What if I came around the stalled car and two Black kids were moving on to the arterial and I almost hit their car? Would I have driven away as easily as they did? Would I have forgiven them as easily as they forgave me? I hope I would have.
These examples really are small items; even a crunched car is minor in the grand scheme of things. What about when the people who I love hurt me? What about when the people, who love me, hurt me? What about that? What about when I hurt the people I love? Not just a bump from a door but serious emotional hurt. What about that?
It is the weekend. Please be good. Drive your cars carefully. Ride with people who drive carefully. Treat yourself with respect. Spend time with people who treat you with respect. Treat other people with respect. Talk nice to yourself. I look forward to hearing from you or seeing you. Keep yourselves whole, physically and emotionally.
P
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