Life has a way of intruding on itself. At 12:40 AM last Friday morning Katy's sister, Judy, called to say she needed to be taken to the emergency room. Katy took her in and they performed emergency surgery. Judy had a ruptured colon. She has had colitis for some time so her colon was basically useless and consequently all of it was removed. In the process of removing her colon they found cancer. It was on her colon and had migrated to one of her ovaries which was also removed. She was in septic shock. They could not, and still haven't, closed the incision. There was some quesiton as to whether she would live through the weekend. She did and has made good progress. They told her Monday evening that she has cancer and told her Wednesday that it is somewhere between stage 2 and stage 3. The oconlogist is going to meet with her this evening to give her a more complete picture. Katy stayed at the hospital until after 5:00 PM on Friday. She has been spending a good deal of time there. Additionally Judy lives in a third floor apartment in which she can no longer stay. The family is in the process of finding her a ground floor apartment and getting her set up with with a rehab facility for a couple weeks after she is discharged from the hospital.
Judy is hopeful that the cancer is treatable. She will be wearing an ileostomy bag for the rest of her life. The bag is attached to a hole in her abdomen where it collects intestinal waste. Like I said, life has a way of intruding on itself.
Okay then, here is some gratitude attitude for you...I am grateful that my colon is not ruptured. I am grateful that I don't have cancer. I am grateful that I don't wear an ileosotmy bag.
Hmm... Let's see here... Well obviously we are all grateful that we don't have ruptured colons. There is little value in saying that or even thinking it for that matter. I woke up this morning. I am breathing. I can hear. I can see. I can speak. These things are all miracles. I just stepped away from the computer and walked around the bottom level of our home to remind myself what a pleasure it is to be able to that simple thing--move around on my own. A meaningful Gratitude Attitude isn't just about being glad that for things I don't have. A meaningful gratitude is about being thankful for the simplest things that we all take for granted so easily. A meaningful Gratitude Attitude is when I make a conscious and practiced choose to be grateful. A meaningful Gratitude Attitude is about realizing that in so many ways blessings abound.
It is the weekend. Please be good. Drive your cars carefully. Ride with people who drive carefully. Treat yourself with respect. Spend time with people who treat you with respect. Treat other people with respect. Talk nice to yourself; you deserve it. I look forward to hearing from you or seeing you. Keep yourself whole physically and emotionally. Enjoy your weekend.
P
Friday, February 18, 2011
Friday, February 11, 2011
Get a Grip!!
About 9 or 10 days ago I ordered some fly tying materials and tools from Cabelas. The order totaled $153 and some cents. I had a $20 coupon so that was motivating me to act. One of the items I ordered was a bodkin. If you click on the link you will see that it cost a whopping $2.99. I do have a bad case of gear lust so when the box came I opened it with the delight of a child. That's not LIKE a child, that's WITH the delight of a child.
But oh look, the little plastic bag with the $2.99 bodkin was empty. I thought about throwing the bag in the garbage and forgetting about it. I called Cabelas and told them I was missing my incredibly important new bodkin but said I didn't want them to waste postage on sending me just one item. I suggested they put it in my electronic cart and ship it to me the next time I ordered something. The gal who I was talking to in customer service told me she needed to transfer me to customer service. "What?..." I was on hold with customer service for a few minutes and then I got a recorded message that said customer service was closed. I thought, "heck it's a $3 item; throw the little envelope in the garbage and be done with it."
I let it sit on my desk for a few days and called back after I ate lunch one day. Someone answered and put me on hold. After holding the call went dead. I called again and I repeated the same story about opening the box and finding the envelope for the bodkin empty. I suggested that they put it my electronic cart and just send it to me the next time I ordered something. This person in customer service told me that she needed to transfer me to customer service. I held for 15 minutes and really had to ask myself, "What the HELL are you doing?" When a nice lady finally came on the line I told her that I should have thrown the empty envelope away and got on with my life. Instead, I was into this for 30 minutes of wasted time and no darn bodkin. The last customer service rep I talked to couldn't find a bodkin in their system at first so she couldn't send me one.
A small part of me thinks its the "principle of the thing" and they should send me the $3 bodkin. Okay, it IS the principle of the thing. Let's see here... Where else in Snohomish County, in Washington State, in the USA, or in the world are there concerns about the "principle of the thing." In Cairo there are millions of people concerned about the principle of the thing right now.
A bodkin? A THREE DOLLAR, stupid fly tying tool?!! GET A GRIP!!! Was I really even a little bit annoyed about that? Sadly I was. I should have thrown the empty envelope in the garbage, not given it another thought, smiled, and thanked God for all of my blessings.
Get a grip! It is the principle of the thing after all and that is that I need to not just count my blessings but feel them!
It is the weekend. Please be good. Drive your cars carefully. Ride with people who drive carefully. Treat yourself with respect. Spend time with people who treat you with respect. Treat other people with respect. Talk nice to yourself; you deserve it. I look forward to hearing from you or seeing you. Keep yourself whole physically and emotionally. Enjoy your weekend.
Oh, and feel your blessings too.
P
But oh look, the little plastic bag with the $2.99 bodkin was empty. I thought about throwing the bag in the garbage and forgetting about it. I called Cabelas and told them I was missing my incredibly important new bodkin but said I didn't want them to waste postage on sending me just one item. I suggested they put it in my electronic cart and ship it to me the next time I ordered something. The gal who I was talking to in customer service told me she needed to transfer me to customer service. "What?..." I was on hold with customer service for a few minutes and then I got a recorded message that said customer service was closed. I thought, "heck it's a $3 item; throw the little envelope in the garbage and be done with it."
I let it sit on my desk for a few days and called back after I ate lunch one day. Someone answered and put me on hold. After holding the call went dead. I called again and I repeated the same story about opening the box and finding the envelope for the bodkin empty. I suggested that they put it my electronic cart and just send it to me the next time I ordered something. This person in customer service told me that she needed to transfer me to customer service. I held for 15 minutes and really had to ask myself, "What the HELL are you doing?" When a nice lady finally came on the line I told her that I should have thrown the empty envelope away and got on with my life. Instead, I was into this for 30 minutes of wasted time and no darn bodkin. The last customer service rep I talked to couldn't find a bodkin in their system at first so she couldn't send me one.
A small part of me thinks its the "principle of the thing" and they should send me the $3 bodkin. Okay, it IS the principle of the thing. Let's see here... Where else in Snohomish County, in Washington State, in the USA, or in the world are there concerns about the "principle of the thing." In Cairo there are millions of people concerned about the principle of the thing right now.
A bodkin? A THREE DOLLAR, stupid fly tying tool?!! GET A GRIP!!! Was I really even a little bit annoyed about that? Sadly I was. I should have thrown the empty envelope in the garbage, not given it another thought, smiled, and thanked God for all of my blessings.
Get a grip! It is the principle of the thing after all and that is that I need to not just count my blessings but feel them!
It is the weekend. Please be good. Drive your cars carefully. Ride with people who drive carefully. Treat yourself with respect. Spend time with people who treat you with respect. Treat other people with respect. Talk nice to yourself; you deserve it. I look forward to hearing from you or seeing you. Keep yourself whole physically and emotionally. Enjoy your weekend.
Oh, and feel your blessings too.
P
Friday, February 4, 2011
Proud to be an American: Part III
Two Sundays ago I was holding an open house for a listing of mine in Redmond. The home is just minutes from Microsoft. There were people looking at the home virtually the entire time I was there. Much of the time there was more than one person or more than one group of people. Most of the visitors spoke English as a second language. Throughout the day I heard at least five different foreign languages; it may have been six. At about 3:00 there were three families in the home. One was from Russia, one was from India, and one was from France. They spoke to each other in their native languages. I was the only one in the home who couldn't understand a single word that was being said. It was fascinating and kind of amazing.
How many other places on the planet could this happen? Yes, we have experienced a serious recession. Even now where else is there the economic opportunity for people like there is here? What other country welcomes people of such varied backgrounds? Where else on the earth is there such diversity on so many levels? There could easily be a few countries that have the opportunity, tolerance, and the freedom that we do but not very darn many if any at all.
I am far from perfect as an individual; I have plenty of room for improvement. My country isn't perfect; it has plenty of room for improvement. I stood in that home, listened to families talking in three languages, smiled, and felt grateful to be an American.
How many other places on the planet could this happen? Yes, we have experienced a serious recession. Even now where else is there the economic opportunity for people like there is here? What other country welcomes people of such varied backgrounds? Where else on the earth is there such diversity on so many levels? There could easily be a few countries that have the opportunity, tolerance, and the freedom that we do but not very darn many if any at all.
I am far from perfect as an individual; I have plenty of room for improvement. My country isn't perfect; it has plenty of room for improvement. I stood in that home, listened to families talking in three languages, smiled, and felt grateful to be an American.
Friday, January 14, 2011
Listening Part III: A Man Named Volunteer
Working out at the “Y” sometimes I see a man wiping down the exercise bikes and the elliptical trainers. His pants are hiked up and his t-shirt is always tucked in. His t-shirt says “volunteer” on the back. He looks like a special ed person. He looks like someone who would have attended our Life Skills Christmas party back in the day. Working slowly and carefully he wipes down virtually square inch of the machine he is attending to. In the past several weeks I have seen him 7 or 8 times. I make a point of saying hi to him when I walk by. He looks at me blankly but doesn’t answer. When I am on a machine near him I can hear him either making quiet noises sometimes or possibly saying something to himself. I’m not sure what he is doing. It just sounds like the occasional odd noise to me. He has a name tag on the front of his shirt. It wasn’t until the third or fourth time I had seen him that I could see the nametag. It says, “Volunteer”.
This past Tuesday I walked by him on my way to a different machine. As I was approaching I thought to myself that I think he makes funny noises; I wonder if when I say hi to him he thinks to himself, “That guy makes funny noises." I said hi to him as I walked by. He looked at me and said, “BraaNoo, BraaaNoo, BbbbrraaaNoo.” I was surprised to have him answer me. I asked him to repeat what he was saying. He said it several times and I realized he was saying “Brand new.” I answered, “You are making the machines look brand new?” He said, “LieBraaNoo, LieBraaNoo.” I said, “Like brand new?” He nodded. I told him he did good work and thanked him. Since I had not heard him talk before I wasn’t even sure he could talk.
Sometimes people are listening and you just don’t realize it. I realized he was listening after all and that I just had to say hi several times before he answered. I am going to ask him his name the next time I see him.
It is the weekend. Please be good. Drive your car carefully. Ride with people who drive carefully. Treat yourself with respect. Spend time with people who treat you with respect. Treat other people with respect. Talk nice to yourself; you deserve. I look forward to hearing from you or seeing you. Keep yourself whole physically and emotionally. Enjoy your weekend.
P
This past Tuesday I walked by him on my way to a different machine. As I was approaching I thought to myself that I think he makes funny noises; I wonder if when I say hi to him he thinks to himself, “That guy makes funny noises." I said hi to him as I walked by. He looked at me and said, “BraaNoo, BraaaNoo, BbbbrraaaNoo.” I was surprised to have him answer me. I asked him to repeat what he was saying. He said it several times and I realized he was saying “Brand new.” I answered, “You are making the machines look brand new?” He said, “LieBraaNoo, LieBraaNoo.” I said, “Like brand new?” He nodded. I told him he did good work and thanked him. Since I had not heard him talk before I wasn’t even sure he could talk.
Sometimes people are listening and you just don’t realize it. I realized he was listening after all and that I just had to say hi several times before he answered. I am going to ask him his name the next time I see him.
It is the weekend. Please be good. Drive your car carefully. Ride with people who drive carefully. Treat yourself with respect. Spend time with people who treat you with respect. Treat other people with respect. Talk nice to yourself; you deserve. I look forward to hearing from you or seeing you. Keep yourself whole physically and emotionally. Enjoy your weekend.
P
Friday, January 7, 2011
Listening: Part II
I learned a lot about listening by listening. In 1991, I remember a student, LAJ, coming in after school to talk to me. She had said she was upset and needed to kind of unload. I listened to her talk for 45 minutes; she was crying much of the time. At this point I don’t remember much of what she said; come on, it’s been 20 years. What I do remember is that a couple times I started to open my mouth to give advice. I thought better of it and just kept my advice to myself. I continued to acknowledge that I was listening and that I understood what she was saying. After 45 minutes she paused, took a deep breath, and stopped crying just like that. She smiled and said thanks for listening. She picked up her things, thanked me again, told me it really helped, and headed for home. I thought to myself that I didn't "do" anything to help. Maybe my mouth doesn't have to move much for me to be "doing" something to help. The lesson I learned or relearned that day was that I helped Laura more by listening than I would have by giving advice. Advice works the best when it is requested. I am full of good advice after all but sometimes my good advice accomplishes the most when I just keep it to myself and be a good, supportive, loving listener.
It is the weekend. Please be good. Drive your cars carefully. Ride with people who drive carefully. Treat yourself with respect. Spend time with people who treat you with respect. Treat other people with respect. Talk nice to yourself; you deserve it. I look forward to hearing from you or seeing you. Keep yourself whole physically and emotionally. Enjoy your weekend.
P
It is the weekend. Please be good. Drive your cars carefully. Ride with people who drive carefully. Treat yourself with respect. Spend time with people who treat you with respect. Treat other people with respect. Talk nice to yourself; you deserve it. I look forward to hearing from you or seeing you. Keep yourself whole physically and emotionally. Enjoy your weekend.
P
Friday, December 31, 2010
Listening: Part I
I learned a lot about listening by listening. It took me a long time to learn to be patiently, quietly, and supportively present for someone who needed to talk. That lesson was, and for that matter still is, the most difficult when I don’t agree with the person talking. And still more difficult yet, when the person talking is in some way expressing concern about something I have or have not done. It is too easy to mistake listening for grudgingly taking turns talking. Listening can become me waiting for you to stop talking so I can start talking again. I continue to work at being a good listener.
It is the weekend. Please be good. Drive your car carefully. Ride with people who drive carefully. Treat yourself with respect. Spend time with people who treat you with respect. Treat other people with respect. Talk nice to yourself; you deserve it. I look forward to hearing from you or seeing you. Keep yourself whole physically and emotionally. Enjoy your weekend.
Friday, December 24, 2010
Wedding Anniversary--"I did, I do, I WILL."
Thirty-three years ago yesterday, Katy and I were married. It sounds so much longer than it actually feels. I can’t imagine my life without having married her. I was in love when we got married and yet I am more in love today than I ever knew I could be.
We went to a wedding last weekend of a young couple. I have been to lots and lots of weddings through the years. This was the largest one I have ever been to; there were almost 450 people there. There were three videographers. At the reception there was an extensive slide show of the bride and groom from the time they were little. There was a 20 minute video of them talking about how they met and remembering their experiences together in the year they have known each other. It was pretty impressive.
When Katy and I were married there were no video cameras, no digital cameras, and no personal computers. There were film pictures and we have an album with them in it. I put a portable cassette tape recorder on the floor while we said our vows so we have a somewhat audible recording of the ceremony.
Where has the time gone? There have been so many changes in our lives and those changes aren’t just the result of changes in the world. We have experienced a myriad of personal change on our own and together. We have grown individually and together. We are still the people we were when we were married. Well, sort of. We are each someone else too. In the midst of that change we have encouraged and supported each other.
We have faced challenges together. A couple of those challenges have been very difficult. We still laugh together and so much enjoy each other’s company. Decades before the characters in Avatar where saying, “I see you,” I was saying it to Katy. I still say it. “I see you,” means many things to me but most of all I still celebrate being in her presence. I still love the sound of her voice. We are still friends and we are still lovers. We each support the other in our individual endeavors and we enjoy doing things together. I still tell her I love her every day and work to show it.
It has been said that being 60 is the youth of old age. As of October 11, 2010 we are both officially entering the youth of our old age. I look forward to the years to come; together, I embrace them with open arms.
Thirty three years ago yesterday we stood in front of our God, our families, and our friends, and made our wedding vows. We both said “I do.” As to making wedding vows—past, present, and future—“I did, I do, and I WILL!”
It is the weekend and it is a holiday weekend. Drive your cars carefully. Ride with people who drive carefully. Treat yourself with respect. Spend time with people who treat you with respect. Treat other people with respect. Talk nice to yourself; you deserve it. I look forward to hearing from you or seeing you. Keep yourself whole physically and emotionally.
PS I still think Katy is pretty darn hot too.
P
We went to a wedding last weekend of a young couple. I have been to lots and lots of weddings through the years. This was the largest one I have ever been to; there were almost 450 people there. There were three videographers. At the reception there was an extensive slide show of the bride and groom from the time they were little. There was a 20 minute video of them talking about how they met and remembering their experiences together in the year they have known each other. It was pretty impressive.
When Katy and I were married there were no video cameras, no digital cameras, and no personal computers. There were film pictures and we have an album with them in it. I put a portable cassette tape recorder on the floor while we said our vows so we have a somewhat audible recording of the ceremony.
Where has the time gone? There have been so many changes in our lives and those changes aren’t just the result of changes in the world. We have experienced a myriad of personal change on our own and together. We have grown individually and together. We are still the people we were when we were married. Well, sort of. We are each someone else too. In the midst of that change we have encouraged and supported each other.
We have faced challenges together. A couple of those challenges have been very difficult. We still laugh together and so much enjoy each other’s company. Decades before the characters in Avatar where saying, “I see you,” I was saying it to Katy. I still say it. “I see you,” means many things to me but most of all I still celebrate being in her presence. I still love the sound of her voice. We are still friends and we are still lovers. We each support the other in our individual endeavors and we enjoy doing things together. I still tell her I love her every day and work to show it.
It has been said that being 60 is the youth of old age. As of October 11, 2010 we are both officially entering the youth of our old age. I look forward to the years to come; together, I embrace them with open arms.
Thirty three years ago yesterday we stood in front of our God, our families, and our friends, and made our wedding vows. We both said “I do.” As to making wedding vows—past, present, and future—“I did, I do, and I WILL!”
It is the weekend and it is a holiday weekend. Drive your cars carefully. Ride with people who drive carefully. Treat yourself with respect. Spend time with people who treat you with respect. Treat other people with respect. Talk nice to yourself; you deserve it. I look forward to hearing from you or seeing you. Keep yourself whole physically and emotionally.
PS I still think Katy is pretty darn hot too.
P
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