Listening: Part II

I learned a lot about listening by listening. In 1991, I remember a student, LAJ, coming in after school to talk to me. She had said she was upset and needed to kind of unload. I listened to her talk for 45 minutes; she was crying much of the time. At this point I don’t remember much of what she said; come on, it’s been 20 years. What I do remember is that a couple times I started to open my mouth to give advice. I thought better of it and just kept my advice to myself. I continued to acknowledge that I was listening and that I understood what she was saying. After 45 minutes she paused, took a deep breath, and stopped crying just like that. She smiled and said thanks for listening. She picked up her things, thanked me again, told me it really helped, and headed for home. I thought to myself that I didn't "do" anything to help. Maybe my mouth doesn't have to move much for me to be "doing" something to help. The lesson I learned or relearned that day was that I helped Laura more by listening than I would have by giving advice. Advice works the best when it is requested. I am full of good advice after all but sometimes my good advice accomplishes the most when I just keep it to myself and be a good, supportive, loving listener.

It is the weekend. Please be good. Drive your cars carefully. Ride with people who drive carefully. Treat yourself with respect. Spend time with people who treat you with respect. Treat other people with respect. Talk nice to yourself; you deserve it. I look forward to hearing from you or seeing you. Keep yourself whole physically and emotionally. Enjoy your weekend.

P