Swimsuits and Swim Trunks

Katy and I are going to go to Hawaii. She went once before we were married; I have never been. It’s a big adventure for us.

When the kids were little I would chase them around the back yard with a squirt gun. Then they would chase me. It’s a great summer memory from 20-25 years ago. I took them swimming at the “Y” back then too. To do these things I wore swim trunks. I still have those trunks. They’re green. The kids are much too old to chase around now and plus I couldn’t catch them anymore so I haven’t worn the trunks in a long time.

Katy and I have been talking about what we are going to do in Hawaii. We talked about doing some snorkeling. We both liked the idea but realized we don’t have swimwear. Well one of us doesn’t; I still have my old green swim trunks. I took them out of the bottom of my shirt drawer, kind of shook them out, put my thumbs inside each edge and pulled them apart a little. The elastic crackled and didn’t go back; they just sort of stayed pulled apart. (I feel that way some mornings.) Okay, the swim trunks are 30 years old, big deal. That meant that Katy and I are both in the market for new swimming stuff.

Katy started looking at Lands End. I didn't want to think about it particularly or have to make any complicated choices like color or style. I would be just fine having a pair of swim trunks like the ones I had except with new elastic in the waistband. That would be more than enough “shopping” for me. We had a print catalog of swimwear that had just come in the mail. She was leafing through page after page of “girl stuff”. I think there were two pages of “boy stuff”. That’s fine with me because I don’t want to think about it anyway.

After she saw a few she liked, or maybe that she was at least open to, in the catalog she went online to look. I heard her laughing so I came over to the computer to see what was funny. There were pull down menus with hundreds of choices, yes hundreds, for all of these things: size range, specific size, color, bra type, body shape, control, and best of all, “anxiety zones”.

Excuse me but what the heck does that mean? She pulled down the “anxiety zone” menu several times and laughed at the six choices every time. If you pick something off the anxiety zone list do you get less anxiety or more anxiety with the swimsuits in that section? Are you choosing a swimsuit to reinforce your anxieties? Do they mail the anxiety with the swimsuit and do you apply it before wearing it? How many times is the anxiety good for? Does the anxiety wear out as the swim suit gets older? I’m wearing out as I get older so maybe anxiety does too.
I got on the computer and clicked over to swim trunks. I found one that looked the same as my retired green ones and that was that. But then I started to feel left out. How come I only get to choose color and inseam? Some have pockets so that’s a choice too but how come I can’t choose from some anxiety zones too?

Oh the hell with it. We are going to Hawaii and we’re both excited! We are both going to put on swim wear for the first time in decades and we don’t give a damn about anxiety zones. We are probably going to look funny and we just don’t care. So there. We both ordered swim wear and decided not to order any anxiety with it.

It is the weekend. Please be good. Drive your car carefully. Ride with people who drive carefully. Treat yourself with respect. Spend time with people who treat you with respect. Treat other people with respect. Talk nice to yourself; you deserve it. I look forward to hearing from you or seeing you. Keep yourself whole physically and emotionally.

P