Listening: Part I

I learned a lot about listening by listening. It took me a long time to learn to be patiently, quietly, and supportively present for someone who needed to talk. That lesson was, and for that matter still is, the most difficult when I don’t agree with the person talking. And still more difficult yet, when the person talking is in some way expressing concern about something I have or have not done. It is too easy to mistake listening for grudgingly taking turns talking. Listening can become me waiting for you to stop talking so I can start talking again. I continue to work at being a good listener.

It is the weekend. Please be good. Drive your car carefully. Ride with people who drive carefully. Treat yourself with respect. Spend time with people who treat you with respect. Treat other people with respect. Talk nice to yourself; you deserve it. I look forward to hearing from you or seeing you. Keep yourself whole physically and emotionally. Enjoy your weekend.

Wedding Anniversary--"I did, I do, I WILL."

Thirty-three years ago yesterday, Katy and I were married. It sounds so much longer than it actually feels. I can’t imagine my life without having married her. I was in love when we got married and yet I am more in love today than I ever knew I could be.

We went to a wedding last weekend of a young couple. I have been to lots and lots of weddings through the years. This was the largest one I have ever been to; there were almost 450 people there. There were three videographers. At the reception there was an extensive slide show of the bride and groom from the time they were little. There was a 20 minute video of them talking about how they met and remembering their experiences together in the year they have known each other. It was pretty impressive.

When Katy and I were married there were no video cameras, no digital cameras, and no personal computers. There were film pictures and we have an album with them in it. I put a portable cassette tape recorder on the floor while we said our vows so we have a somewhat audible recording of the ceremony.

Where has the time gone? There have been so many changes in our lives and those changes aren’t just the result of changes in the world. We have experienced a myriad of personal change on our own and together. We have grown individually and together. We are still the people we were when we were married. Well, sort of. We are each someone else too. In the midst of that change we have encouraged and supported each other.

We have faced challenges together. A couple of those challenges have been very difficult. We still laugh together and so much enjoy each other’s company. Decades before the characters in Avatar where saying, “I see you,” I was saying it to Katy. I still say it. “I see you,” means many things to me but most of all I still celebrate being in her presence. I still love the sound of her voice. We are still friends and we are still lovers. We each support the other in our individual endeavors and we enjoy doing things together. I still tell her I love her every day and work to show it.

It has been said that being 60 is the youth of old age. As of October 11, 2010 we are both officially entering the youth of our old age. I look forward to the years to come; together, I embrace them with open arms.

Thirty three years ago yesterday we stood in front of our God, our families, and our friends, and made our wedding vows. We both said “I do.” As to making wedding vows—past, present, and future—“I did, I do, and I WILL!”

It is the weekend and it is a holiday weekend. Drive your cars carefully. Ride with people who drive carefully. Treat yourself with respect. Spend time with people who treat you with respect. Treat other people with respect. Talk nice to yourself; you deserve it. I look forward to hearing from you or seeing you. Keep yourself whole physically and emotionally.

PS I still think Katy is pretty darn hot too.

P

2010 Christmas List

Years ago, when I was younger and better looking, along with teaching Marketing I was also teaching Typing. Yes, Typing. That was the 70's. Not only were there no personal computers yet we were using manual typewriters. That's the kind where you have to press the key all the way down. Here is a picture of the ones we used. If you didn't hold the shift key all the way down long enough the capital letters would be above the line; they were called flying capitals.

Since these weren't computers we had to center everything manually. Horizontally, you went to the center of the paper and then backspaced once for every two letters and spaces to get the starting point. Vertically, you went lines available, minus lines used, divided by two, to find the starting line.

That's an interesting little anecdote but what is "really important" is that for one of our centering projects I would have kids center my Christmas list. I sure thought that was funny. Most kids thought it was funny too. At least the ones that had a sense of humor thought it was funny. I don't know about the rest of them.

Even when I went to full time Marketing in the 80's I was still handing out my Christmas list to kids. I always said, "I'm doing this as a service to you to help take the worry out of your shopping."

One year a kid told me that she had seen my Christmas listed taped up at Everett Mall. Good grief, what was wrong with kids back then?...

I have embraced my new life as a real estate agent but I still want to "give out" my Christmas list so here it is. Truly, I just want the last seven things. (But I'll take the other stuff too.)

Mr. P.’s 2010 Christmas List

Junior Mints

CD’s
(Cool ones of course. And by the way my mother doesn’t like me listening to explicit lyrics so DON’T get me any!)

Moonstruck Chocolates

An iTunes gift certificate

A Lamson Velocity 3.5 Hard Alox reel

A line for the reel

Rose Hill Chocolates

****A bonefish trip guided by MPHS Alumnus Michael White to wherever he says the fishing is good****
(Get this, get this!)

Moonstruck Chocolates
(I know)

A helicopter
(Slightly used would be okay)

A pilot
(Duh, I can’t fly the helicopter.)

Rose Hill Chocolates
(Yeah, yeah, I know)

An NHL Hockey Team
(Preferably in the western United States but I won’t be picky if you get me the Habs.)

My own island in the San Juans
(with a helicopter landing pad)

Microsoft
(Yes, the whole thing. Bill and Melinda would have me and Katy over for dinner I bet.)


The Blackfoot Reservoir
(Never mind I don’t want the island anymore; I’ll just take this reservoir. I really want that bonefish trip though.)

My own private parking space
(Everywhere I go)

Good health for my family and friends
(And me too)

Peace of mind and peace of heart for my family and friends
(And me too)

No suffering for my mother

World Peace
(Yes, I’m serious)

Justice

Forgiveness

Happiness and well being for my kids

Here is wishing all of you Merry Christmas and Happy New Year. I hope you get everything on your Christmas list and I hope you find some joy in helping someone else with their Christmas list.

It is the weekend. Please be good. Drive your cars carefully. Ride with people who drive carefully. Treat yourself with respect. Spend time with people who treat you with respect. Treat other people with respect. Talk nice to yourself; you deserve it. I look forward to hearing from you or seeing you. Keep yourself whole physically and emotionally.

P